For most of my adult life, since I lived in the States, I would see my parents and grandparents every other year.
There was even a time when I decided to take a long break from my father. As a way to reset the dynamic between us. To reclaim some power and independence as an individual.
Considering how violated I felt by his violence and emotional blackmailing, it felt appropriate to me to set up such a powerful boundary.
But now that he's passed, and after years of extremely challenging work on both of our parts to attain a place of peace before his crossing to the other side, I miss him.
And because I was not there to see his physical body one last time, a part of me still awaits his return; still expect to see him again.
It is so interesting to me.
The missing amplified at the year mark, the two years mark, the four years mark, and now the six years mark. Particularly this week, just before Samhain, when the veils are thin and we honor our departed loved ones.
Grandpa's energy showed up this week too. Like clock work, I can feel all my beloved Deads coming to visit.
I actually love feeling them checking in. Like a warm wrap of goodness buffering the crazy reality of these heated times.
That truly is my favorite part ofAll Allows Eve - Halloween - Honoring the dead, and visioning for the coming year.
Deep in my heart the flame of rituals past awakes. I come together with my sisters and brothers. We vision this world in peace. We vision this world in health.
We receive the Blessings of those who see far beyond and before, and we pray to lift the veils on the hearts and minds of those deep in sleep, caught in the miasma of greed and destruction.
Dance a gentle dance my friends. Dance a powerful dance my tribe.
Keep the brightness of your hearts alive, and the magic of the Sacred clean.